Meltdowns

All day we been in total meltdown. Emma is screaming because she's hungry and doesn't want to eat since her teeth hurt. Helene is screaming and throwing fits because she's two, and thats what two year old do. And Mommy is crying because all hell is breaking out and I just cant take it. I've got the worst headache, because they refuse to give me anything for my migraines because I'm breastfeeding, a million things that need doing, and nothing to make for dinner. Today the weather decided to be hot as hell, so I'm dying from the heat too.
Its been one of those kind of weeks.
Helene hit her head.. hard. She's got a giant bloody goose egg on the top of her head. Great, now she's napping and I'm panicking that its a concussion. But am I going to wake her up and keep her awake? No way in hell. I can't handle the screaming anymore. If she's not up in an hour or so, I'll try. For now, she can sleep.
Does that make me horrible? Probably. With the day I've had, I dont care.
Emma is kinda napping in the swing, which is apparently the only place other then attached to my boob  she will nap.
Okay well apparently its that time to figure out what the hell dinner will be.

Pictures 3/28

Sometimes she likes to pretend she's a super hero flying through the air.

Emma's awesome 3D hot air balloons. Working on the rest of the decor. Currently there is also a long mirror along the edge of her mattress so she can play in it while she's in her bed. 

Closer detail. 

Meet Me on Monday - 3/28

Questions:

1.  Crunchy or soft tacos?

Crunchy from most places, and at home but I like soft from Taco Bell. I really dislike their shells, but its hard to mess up a normal tortilla.

2.  Do you scrapbook?

Ha! I do... Kinda. What I mean is I have a huge box full of nifty scrapping stuff and a million albums, but very few pages done. Before Helene was born I would work on my scrapbooks for hours, once she was born that didn't happen so much. Now that I have another little needing attention, I really don't do much with the crafting stuff I want to do. 

3.  Do you take any daily medications?

Not anymore. I used to. I need to get back onto some, but with breastfeeding Emma, I'd rather just wait it out as long as I can. I do take my prenatal vitamins though. I found yummy gummy ones, take are awesome. 

4.  What is your favorite sound?

Rain falling onto a metal roof. Beautiful. Also, the day after a huge rain storm is my favorite smell. Something about the world smelling clean, and fresh is the best smell I can think of. Close second is babies. Yum, excuse me I need to go sniff my baby. 

5.  Where were you born?

San Diego, CA. I love it here and the time I moved, I missed it dearly. I love the laid back nature of the people, and even though I'm not much for the beach I like that I have the option. And the weather, can't beat it. Never too hot or too cold. 

Conversing With Toddlers

Talking to a toddler is like talking to someone who knows how to read english, but has no grasp on what anything means.

Today while sitting in the bathroom waiting for her to pee. 

Her: I like toilet paper. Do you like toilet paper?... (without waiting) That the bath! One, two, three, four towels! 

I looove bath time. Mom, can I take a bath?

Me: Not right now, you can take one tonight, when Daddy gets ready for work.

Her: I like toilet paper. Can you like the bath?

Me: Yes I like the bath.

Her: Ducks say 'quack quack!' All done!.. Can I has candy now? More colors! Red, blue, where's yellow? Where my yellow one? 

Me: What yellow one?

Her: I like toilet paper.

There is really no logic behind what toddlers talk about, I've realized I don't even need to answer her anymore, she is just asking things to talk, not because she wants the answer. 

Also, its pretty strange that she cheers and gets a piece of candy for me whenever she find out I pooped in the potty. She thinks its the greatest thing ever. 

Crazy child. 

Wordless Wednesday - Reading Toddler

Meet Me on Monday

I liked the Social Parade hop so much, that I'm going to start doing the Meet Me on Monday hop too!
This one is pretty nifty.

Questions:

1. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?

Just my wedding ring, not even my engagement ring. My sweet simple gold band is all I wear most days. When Emma is being extra handsy then I add my nursing necklace.

2. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

Twirl, of course. Its the only way to get a good mouthful. Though when I cook the noodles at home I break them in half before I put them in the pot, so thats almost like cutting them, right?

3. How many siblings do you have?

3 half sisters. Two i recently found(within the last 2 years) and another I know nothing about. I grew up as an only child, so it didn't seem much like I had siblings until recently.

4. Were you named after anyone?

Nope, mom just liked the name. She almost named me Constance Monique, yeah, much prefer Breeann, thanks Mom.

5. Coke or Pepsi?

Mtn. Dew. Seriously, I don't like either. But if its life or death, then Coke.

Could Have -Should Haves

We've all done it as parents. I could have done this, I should have done that. Its easy to beat ourselves up over the choices we make as parents. We're constantly getting bombarded with advice from every direction. It get hard to sort through what you feel is right for your family. Even your health care professionals can give conflicting advice.
My biggest issues with parenting have come from lack of knowledge.
My daughter was born severely jaundice made worse because I thought I had someone to show me how to nurse my daughter and they did not. So for 24 hours she didn't eat. She was taken from my room and placed in the NICU with bilirubin levels so close to brain damage. They gave her a bottle of formula as soon as she was in there and then called me a few hours later to tell me about it. I cried, on the phone with them, with my husband later and then again on the phone, this time with the pediatrician.  I had wanted to breastfeed so badly, but that one bottle, combined with our problems nursing was the beginning and end of our nursing relationship. I had the lactation consultant come in but even she could not get her to breastfeed. I pumped every other hour for 30mins each time, trying to get my milk to come in so I could stop feeding her formula. They stretched out her belly and kept trying to pump more and more of this imposter milk into my child while I cried and begged her to just try to latch on. It was heartbreaking. At 6 days she was released from the hospital and come home. Every day I tried to get her to latch, but she refused and every day I pumped and got less each time. At 3 weeks there was nothing left, so so became exclusively formula fed.
She was horribly constipated, so we changed formulas, and that made her gassy and spit up. So we switched back, and gave her juice. At two months old we were giving her 4 ounces of juice a day to help her poop. 4 onces. Thats insane for a bitty baby, but to us, it was better then laxatives, right? A few week later she realized what food was and decided she wanted some. She screamed and screamed and made herself sick from it all. We started buy another type of formula and feeding it to her with a spoon. The different taste made her think it was something else. At her 2 month doctor visit, which was horribly late, we told the doctor about this. She recommended that we slowly start solids because she obviously seemed ready for them. At two and a half months we fed her rice cereal. Two and a half months. Such a tiny little thing that could not do much of anything and here she was, eating cereal.
All these things could have been avoided had I done the research myself. If I had only read more on breastfeeding, asked for help earlier. Tried something else.. Maybe all of these things wouldn't have happened. But they did. Helene is two now. She's happy, healthy and incredibly smart. All of those could haves and should haves go flying out the window every time she tells me she loves me and kisses me a million times, giggling between each one.
I'm lucky in that I have done the homework now, I know better and have been very active in seeking out the knowledge that I need this time around. Emma is exclusively breastfed, well except for the Cheeto incident, but thats a whole other post and I don't have the time to write it tonight. She is healthy and happy and hopefully just as smart as her big sister.

I still feel mom-guilt over the should haves, but I think no matter what parenting choice I make, there will always be a could have or a shouldn't have out there. Now I just strive to be the best mom I can, as informed as possible and to make sure that my kids are healthy and thriving.

Alone in Bed

So tonight marks Emma's first night in bed without me. To many it might not seem like a big step but for me, this is huge. She has never once gone to sleep before I went to bed. I have never left her alone in the room to sleep either. Normally her dad is going to bed the same time I'm getting up so he is with her. Not tonight, she is alone.
I'm sitting here in dead silence except for the static on the monitor besauce she made the slightest little noise in her sleep so I paused the TV. Yes, I'm kind of freaking out a little that she is in there without me.
I know once I get used to this it will be wonderful. I'll be able to watch TV in peace, or maybe even get some extra cleaning done I couldn't do in the day. Okay, yeah right, who am I kidding? I'm not going to end up cleaning. There is no way I'd use baby free time to clean, unless it was a dire situation. But I could clean, if I wanted to. I could also shower, alone. Precious shower time all by myself. That would probably be the highlight of my week.

No she's not asleep in this one, but that is on her bed, before sleep last night. 

Anyways back to my awesome TV and all its goodness.

Hubby's Days Off + Friday Hop

We've had such a great time the past few days, hence me not being online much. This Sunday was our wedding anniversary so we had our first childless date night in a very long time. It was amazing to get to spend some quality time with him again.

Monday we went to the park with my MIL. We brought the dog and she got to run and play with other dogs and get some of her energy out. We then sat around and played in the sand and ran around the park like crazies. It was such an amazing day. After went went out for ice cream before coming home.

We set up little Emma's bed. Its side-carred to our bed, so now we all have a little more space on the bed together. She slept so well in it, I was surprised. I'll be making a separate post about that that once its all finished.
Once the kidlets went to bed we opened a bottle of champagne from our wedding and relaxed and watched a movie. Again great chance to spend some time together.

We had made plans to go to the museums the next morning, but Helene slept in and woke up past 10am, so it was too late for us to get out there. Instead we packed a picnic lunch and headed down to the beach. Now being a pale as I am, the beach is not somewhere I normally enjoy going, I get burned every single time. But it was such a nice day it seemed a shame to waste it. Apparently it was only nice out where we live, once we got to the beach it was overcast and cold, so we stayed far from the water and just played in the sand. Helene had a blast. She loved digging holes in the sand and burying her Daddy's feet.

After a few hours it started to get too cold for Em so we packed up and walked around Belmont Park for a while. Helene loved riding the merry go round, but would not sit on an animal, she wanted her Daddy to sit on the bench with her. We had a great dinner and then watched a movie once the kids were in bed.

I normally like Hubby's days off, but this week they were filled with adventures and joy. I loved every second of time we got to spend together. Very special few days.

Wordless Wednesday - Teething Relief

Breastmilk pops. Yum!

Foil Wrapped Salmon Fillets

What you need:
Salmon fillets (at least 6oz each, mine are about 8-9oz) one for each person you're feeding
Fresh rosemary
Basil (I normally use fresh but I ran out)
Sage
4 garlic cloves
1 lemon
Extra virgin olive oil
Garlic salt
Unsalted butter (about 1 tablespoons)
Aluminum foil


Preheat oven to 350
Slice the garlic cloves and cut your lemon into wedges to make them easier to squeeze.
I usually line everything up in the order I put it on the salmon, just to make it easier on me.

Cut a piece of foil about 6 inches longer then the length of your fillets and lay it out. Place the fillet in the center and lay the rosemary, basil, garlic and sage around the edges. Pour about a tablespoon of EVOO along the fish and sprinkle lightly with the garlic salt. Add the butter to the top and squeeze one wedge of lemon over the whole thing.

Bring the two long edges of the foil together and fold them down along to top of the fillet. Then fold in the sides to make a packet.
Repeat with all the rest of the fillets.
Line the packets up on a baking sheet and stick them in the oven for about 15-20 mins or until the fish is firm.
Pair it with a favorite veggie and some rice and oh boy its good stuffs. I pour the juices from the packet over my rice with a little extra butter, because I love butter.

Excuse the last picture, we were so hungry once it was done that I snapped a quick picture of hubby's plate before he snagged it. Hence the massive pile of fish on the plate, that man can seriously eat.
Hope you enjoy!

Hop Hop Hoping Around

Hoping around, looking for new friends.

Come on in, stay awhile.
Read a bit and leave a comment.

I'd love to follow back!

Happy 3rd Month Little One

Little Emma, you are three months old tomorrow. The time has gone by so fast yet it seems as though you've been part of our family forever.

I love that you recognize who your family is and get very excited anytime you catch someone in your view. You are even starting to realize that big black fur ball with a wet tongue is part of the family too, and that you actually like her. Whenever Daddy walks by you smile and yell for him to come closer and the wiggle until he picks you up. You tell him stories and listen to him sing. You guys love to "fly" together too.

Big Sister loves to help out and lets me know whenever you need something. She loves to help you out when you've lost your "bink" and need it back. She takes your dirty diapers to the counter to wait for trash to be thrown away. And covers you up when you forgot to use your blanket. Now that you can hold toys, she hands them to you and helps you bring them to your mouth. What an amazing big sister you have.





Your grip is getting so good, you can hold most things we give you for at least a few seconds or so. And you have really fallen in love with your sister's stuffed puppy. I'm not sure how we're going to tell her that it has become your favorite thing to snuggle, besides Mom and Dad. I'm sure some other stuffed animal will make it all better.


You talk! Oh boy do you talk. Better then your sister did at this age and she has always been a noisy thing. You love to talk to everything and everyone you can.
You have really taken to babywearing, and love your Ergo very much. Mommy is hoping to figure out how you use the Hotsling she got when your sister was little but never used. I'm thinking now that you have decent head control you might like to be in it. And then maybe you'll let me get more done around the house.

Everyone comments on how content a child you are. You are relaxed and happy no matter where we are, or what is going on around you. You love to smile and coo at anyone who happens to come talk to you.

The only thing that makes you unhappy is hunger. Boy do you hate to wait for your food. When we are out in public you hate the blanket over you, even though it is really only covering the back of your head. Normally you'll just snack every now and then and wait to really eat for when we are home. Your sister is like this about table food also, so I'm not sure that its just because of the cover.
This month we have an ultrasound to check your hip for hip dysplasia. I'm not so worried about it as it seems you have good use of that side, but we are checking just to be safe.


You are growing so fast its hard to believe.

Wordless Wednesday-Baby Sister

At Grammy's House

 Helene loves her grandparents very much and misses them like crazy when they don't visit often. Well it had been at least two weeks since we had Grammy  (Hubby's mom) and she was stating to ask to see her.
So tonight we went to Grammy's housefor dinner, even thought Helene didn't really eat.

Helene ran around and helped "bake" a pumpkin pie while reading Dora's Prefect Pumpkin. She loves that book. At this point I'm pretty sure she can tell you the whole story, without looking at the book.

The watched cartoons, played bowling and put together puzzles.








They sang all sorts of silly songs too. I got a cute video of Grammy sining Twinkle Twinkle to both girls.

Emma got in on the grandma action too. Grammy sang a song and talked to her, but then Helene got too jealous and she had to give her back.

Helene had a blast listening to music with her Aunty Iesha while she was eating. Cute dancing with her aunt while holding steak happened. 

Eating In The Bathroom

Yes, I have nursed my daughter in the bathroom.

No, not in public, but inside my own home.

I have absolutely no problem nursing in public, or at least not with a cover. She has a right to eat, and I have the right to feed her. This has never been an issue in our entire(short) breastfeeding relationship.

Sometimes though, the toddler is screaming she has to potty and Em just latched and would freak out if i stopped right then. So off to the bathroom we go, and I cringe the whole time at the thought of my poor baby eating where everyone else does there business.

Gross.

Usually its only for a minute or two but the other day it was for our entire session. Hubby had run a bath for the toddler and then needed to go check the laundry, so of course I was needed to sit and keep an eye on her. Then Little Em woke up and was starving, paci was not cutting it, so again I nursed in the bathroom.

It still is disgusting to me, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.


Right?

Emma's New Trick

Emma has finally learned how to grab toys and bring them to her mouth. So very exciting. She's been having so much fun with this new milestone. Helene is having fun too, she gets to help the baby by handing her toys and giving it back whenever she drops it. 

Wordless Wednesday- At the park

Loving Daddy's day off work, playing in the beautiful weather.